EYEWITNESS  FROM  BETHLEHEM

ARTICLES & REFLECTIONS WRITTEN BY TOINE VAN TEEFFELEN

Students Voices from St Joseph’s School in Bethlehem

1.      Hiba, 10^th grade/ March 2^nd, 2001

The Beginning of Sad Days

The Intifada began in October 2000, because it was provoked by Sharon’s visit to the Al-Aqsa Mosque. There were many martyrs and injured people. From that time on, our suffering began.

Last year I used to go with my friends to many places like Balloons to eat pizza and hang out, or to Checkers for Burgers; but now I’m not allowed to stay out of the house after 5:00 because it’s too dangerous especially where we live—near Rachel’s Tomb. Before I used to be happy, but now, I’ve forgotten how to laugh. Even if I laugh, I don’t do it deep in my heart. Sometimes I feel very miserable and sad. Sometimes I feel depressed and frustrated. And sometimes I don’t feel like studying or even going to school. It’s really a hard life but I’ve changed a lot from that time. I’ve grown up and I’ve realized how special life is. I’m stronger now and I try to deal with the new situation. I know that the situation is bad, but I have to bear it and bear it even after all that happened. You didn’t see the martyrs and you didn’t see the dead people with blood in the street in front of our house. You didn’t see the shooting and the damaged houses. All that made me feel stronger and stronger.

I always dream of being free, to have a free life without any difficulties. I always dream about a happy life like all the people; to live like a human being and not like an insect.

 I cope with this situation by telling myself that our land, Palestine, will be given back to us, and we will be free people one day, with our own government and our own rules. But unfortunately, we are suffering and God knows that, but we don’t know till when we’re gong to continue our suffering.

2.      Majd from Battir 15 years old

 What I go through every day to come to school and go back should be written in history books. One of my stories is when we were surrounded by Israeli soldiers; we were frightened. We didn’t know what happened. We were all students under 16 years of age. Two soldiers came and spoke Arabic to us. After along interrogation, they let us go. We had to walk home through the fields because there were no taxis to give us a ride home. You know I always smile at people to show them that I am a courageous girl. I have to be strong in front of my little brother. I have to bring him home safely. I take care of my younger brothers until my mom comes home from work in the Hebron area, in the Al-Arroub Refugee Camp. My heart is always on fire until I hear her key in the door, then I know that she’s home safe.  I try to hide my anxiety and sadness from everybody, without showing anyone my true feelings. I don’t want to show my fear to my little brothers or my younger sister who sleeps with me in the same room. I can’t express my feelings at home because everybody else is suffering. Sometimes I feel that I want to cry but I can’t even do that. When we hear about the shelling and the bombing, it makes us lose hope, and that we’re alone.  I haven’t felt happy in a long time; it’s always fear sadness and anxiety. I hope and pray to God to save us and protect us. I raise my voice loudly so He can hear me. We want to live in peace and have our rights as human beings. Please God help us.

3.      Mary Masriyeh Hazboun, 16 years old

Feeling very depressed, I started writing in my diary. This is the only way that I can express my feelings and how much pain I have in my heart. I can’t cry because my tears have dried up long time ago. I sit on the balcony thinking and looking at the world. I began asking myself: in which time are we living in or in which world?

The beautiful world that God created is gone. I am amazed at how much injustice there is in this world. Who gives the right to human beings to control, kill, humiliate and make fun of other human beings? Are we the same or maybe God created them with more hands and legs? I really can’t understand. In this case they give themselves the right to control the whole world as it is their own. I am talking about every president who thinks that he is god. God’s creation must live, laugh, eat, and play. No one has the right to snatch their lives away from them, put them under the ground, and rob their life away.

The most hateful thing is injustice. I mean by injustice is to make people suffer and get hurt. Our life is unfair. We feel suffering around us. Who is listening to our truth and lack of justice? Where shall we get help? I feel I’m suffocating; I can’t scream, and shout the truth and let the world hear me. Maybe I would be killed because I will interrupt their plans of their future to destroy the rest of the world. What choices do I have? Shall I go and throw stones, that is our only way to defend the land that we eat from? This land of my grandfather who told me stories about his old memories. Then what? I will be killed if I throw a stone and then the truth will be buried with me.

I am sixteen years old and feel very old from what I have seen in my world. How much pain I have in my heart! The only one that helps me is Jesus; when I think of him, I feel much better. He was treated like us, unjustly. It is written in the Bible that Jesus didn’t promise us happiness on earth. He said: “you will suffer on earth, and you will be happy with me in heaven.” He also said, “I never said it would be easy, I said it would be worth it.” Maybe this life is painful, but when I remember his pain I realize that he suffered the same way. I like to pray and listen to his voice that makes me feel safe, and not to be afraid of what’s going on outside. God is with us no matter how difficult our life is. One day we will be happy.

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