EYEWITNESS  FROM  BETHLEHEM

ARTICLES & REFLECTIONS WRITTEN BY TOINE VAN TEEFFELEN

Extra Diary from Bethlehem written by Susan Atallah

April, 2001

Sometimes it seems so easy to write the feelings that come so strongly inside a person’s head; but then, when I sit to write, all becomes void in my mind. There are so many things to write about, and then there’s nothing. With my friends, we talk about the big prison that Israel is imposing on us as a punishment for our rebelliousness and our refusal of their generous offers; in reality, they have given us nothing.

I haven’t left Bethlehem since the 26^th of September, after coming back from Holland to attend the Peace Week. I really feel that that date was the last day of my freedom of traveling. Personally, I enjoy walking around in nature, sitting in a café, reading a good book or enjoying a good cup of coffee (I’m addicted to coffee, by the way). These are very simple things taken for granted in other countries, but here in Bethlehem, they’re considered a privilege and something to wish for.

All we hear about is that “Palestinian violence” has to stop; I don’t know really whether Israel is playing dumb or whether they’re saying things to grab the international headlines or they truly believe their own lies. Why would anyone whose life is stable, happy, secure, and free, wake up in the morning and go kill an Israeli for the sake of killing?

After reading the Jewish history from different sources, the same question keeps haunting me without logically finding an answer to it. The historian, Josephus Flavius, writes about the Jewish wars and he calls the Jewish rebels, heroes and freedom fighters. Well, how come their fighters are called heroes and ours are called terrorists? For a people who suffered a lot and who were discriminated against for more than two thousand years seeking their freedom, why would they want to deny those same rights for the Palestinians? 

Lately, I’ve been reading books that are written by Israeli writers or about the Israeli mentality and history to understand what the Israeli people or parties are coming from. The one that attracted me the most is written by Con Coughlin’s “A Golden Basin Full of Scorpions- the Quest for Modern Jerusalem”. I think that this book is one of the best books written from a neutral point of view without being biased to any side. The author is witty and courageous in addressing the situation of both Israeli and Palestinian sides. If anybody is interested in learning about our situation, this book would be worth reading.

***

Yesterday I bumped into our neighbor whom I haven’t seen for months, although she lives a few meters from my own home. After the usual greetings, she said that there’s a war soon and that we should hoard food. Another lady and her daughter joined us and confirmed a coming war. So I went home and told my mother about my conversation. The first thing that she did was that she lit a cigarette and asked me to make her a cup of coffee, then she told me that we need to go and buy food now. I said that it can wait a little bit because the war is not taking place tomorrow. She wouldn’t hear of it, so she called my sister and gave her a list of necessary things that we might need should a war take place. Our conversation took another turn: I said, if you had worked on our papers while you were in the USA, we could have had it easier to leave the country. My mother who is very adamant about staying in Bethlehem, laughed and said that whatever happens to the millions of people will happen to us. So I asked her why she was afraid then, every time she hears about a probable war. Then she just cracked up and said, “well, I’m not leaving Bethlehem and we still have to buy food. End of story.” She denied being afraid, but you could see it in her eyes that she is.

Now everybody is talking about war, even little children who overhear their parents. Last Monday, while I was tying the shoelaces of one of the kindergarten girls at Saint Joseph’s elementary school, I overheard a conversation taking place among those four year olds. One was explaining “the situation” to three other little ones in her class. She was telling them about the shooting of the night before. She was accusing the Arabs of starting and that’s the reason the Israelis retaliate; I went up to her and said, “but you are an Arab, aren’t you?” She put her chin up and said, “No, I’m a Palestinian.” Quite a few girls in Kindergarten constantly share their experiences with the teachers and their classmates; they talk about hiding in the middle of the night in the stairwell, or talk about their fears of dying by Israelis. One specific girl in the first grade came that same morning looking as pale as ever. The teachers told me that she hasn’t been able to talk ever since she came, but kept going to the bathroom to vomit every now and then. The teachers asked me to talk to her since they know that she likes the stories that I read in class. After sitting next to her soothing her, she confessed that Aida camp where she lives was shelled and bombed the night before and that their neighbor’s house was on fire because of the shelling. Her mother had to carry her in the middle of the night and run to a safer place. The mother, thinking that it would be better for her to go to school and be with her friends, sent her. We had to call her parents to come pick her up because she was really sick.

When I, as a teacher, see the effect of the situation on the students’ life, my priorities change. I had the chance to travel and enjoy my life, but my young students have seen nothing of the sort. I make it my business to make it up for them. It’s my duty and my responsibility to have that seed of hope for a better future even if things look gloomy at the moment.

Susan Atallah   

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